The Greatest Teacher
by Siobhan Eddy-Young

Rachel was born in 1991 with lovely blue eyes that could see into your soul, a mischievous streak, and a palpably strong will! Rachel was also born with multiple severe disabilities, including an inability to swallow or smile. She never spoke. I began providing physical therapy to Rachel when she was three. We connected quickly; our relationship was fuller and more cooperative than I had previously experienced. Teamwork is part of the reason we worked so well together. Rachel’s warm, loving parents welcomed those who worked with Rachel as part of her family, and we became a cohesive team. We shared experiences and stories of Rachel and together we learned who Rachel was and how best to work with and for her. Rachel’s mom explained the importance of relationships with clients:
"How can you possibly have correct expectations for someone you don’t know, or know only "on paper"? How can you assess their reactions if you don’t know what to look for? How can you give yourself the opportunity to learn from extraordinary life teachers if you do not have a relationship with them and are not open to the experience?"

Building relationships with children with disabilities takes time and effort. They reveal themselves in subtle, sometimes brief flashes of personality. Connecting with them requires attending to "moments": a moment of eye contact, deep, direct and powerful, a moment of shared tenderness. Building relationships also requires love. Rachel’s gift of giving love unconditionally and drawing it back to herself encouraged me to know and love Rachel. Loving her inspired me to sometimes stop "doing", to sit back and watch her be, and to simply enjoy her company. I learned to hear the inner voice that said, "this is a moment, be still and experience it."

I learned there are times when maintaining a "professional distance" doesn’t work. Children need our time and skills, but also our love and acceptance of them for who they are, as they are, before they can be motivated to give the best of themselves. One of the greatest teachers I have ever had died at home in November 2001. Rachel reinforced what I already knew to be true: if we let ourselves experience love from others, and we give love, then each relationship, however brief, offers opportunities for personal change and growth. On difficult days at work I purposefully remember the feel of Rachel’s hand tugging at my hair, the weight of her head resting against my chest as I sat with her, and I am reminded again of the gift of relationships with my clients. I remember again the nuggets of wisdom and happiness gained from attending to small moments shared with the special people who have been my patients.

Siobhan Eddy-Young has been a physical therapist in Grace Cottage’s Rehabilitation Department since 1998.

Next story >>